Curveballs

Many of you may have already heard that my sister, Kara, who is 7 months pregnant, was recently diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. Hodgkin's is the most treatable form of lymphoma, and if found early radiation alone is effective in curing 95% of patients. Right now she is waiting to hear if the best plan of action is to have the baby early to start treatment, or wait full term.

It struck me through this whole situation how little control we have over our own bodies, our own lives. Kara is one of the healthiest people I know. She puts extra flaxseed in oatmeal for goodness sake! :)

From one perspective, that can be very unnerving. I am the type of person who likes to be prepared for everything. I currently have no less than three Excel spreadsheets of lists that need to be taken care of before I leave for Thailand. But one thing I've found in my 26 years is that sometimes I'm not the best person to be in control, and sometimes I don't know what to put on the list of preparations for life.

Someone mentioned in a prayer on Sunday that God has already won the victory over sin and death......and disease. So why are we so afraid? I know that God has already won the victory over Kara's disease, whatever the outcome, no matter how hard it is for us to understand. It reminded me of a poem by Dietrich Bonhoeffer (sp?) that I have on my Facebook profile:

Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
and before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army
fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?
Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine!
--Dietrich Bonhoeffer

So, I rest in the assurance that God has it under control. I follow His leading to Bangkok without doubt because I know my sister, her family, and our entire family is held in hands that never fail.